Wednesday, October 24, 2007

什么是所谓的安全感?

昨天晚上有一个我觉得蛮新鲜电台节目。一个关于初恋的故事。初恋,一个多么遥远的经历啊!我不敢说每一个初恋都是美好的,但它却是每个人的必经之路。虽然,它的结局都因人而异。但是,无论是热恋当中的情侣,还是历经沧海桑田的人对于安全感,这三个字应该都有所感触吧! 尤其是男士们,对于这个名称多半是恐惧较多。

犹记有一次,一个以多年不曾联络的旧同事,拨电给我。问了我这样的一个问题,“什么是所谓的安全感?”“我该做些什么才能把安全感给她呢?” 刚开始的时候,我的第一个想法是不是因为钱在作怪呢?但是,说着说着我突然觉得,所谓的安全感并不只局限于钱。无可否认,有钱人理所当然可以轻易而举的,令未来身边的另一半无须为柴米油盐而烦恼。也可以有充足的资金,规划美好的将来。然而,无论它是不是居有举足轻重的地位,它也只代表安全感的一部分而已。

从安全感的字面上去解读的话,其实满简单,也很容易明白。可是,往往当这个字抛给我们的时候,当中的压力是不可言语的。原因是,安全感这个字有相当的个人。

很可笑的是,女孩儿们可能也不能够完全地解读,她们到底想要怎样的安全感。很多的事情,都是一体两面的。如下的特质可以同时给女孩儿们安全感和危机感:

1)魁梧的身材
2)温柔
3)体贴
4)善解人意
5)事业有成
6)丰厚的家产
7)无不良嗜好

其实,当我越写下去的时候,我越觉得总的来说,只要你能让女孩儿门高枕无忧,你已经符合了她们所谓的安全感特资了。也就是说,你安全的通过了她们的考验了。恭喜恭喜!

不同的女孩,会有不同的需求。但是,当甲女孩对乙和丙都有同样的要求时,这就变成了所谓的标准了。安全感,是很个人的。它并不代表一种标准。怎么说呢,安全感是比较有针对性地指出,对方所缺乏能让自己打开心房的理由。

无可否认的,很多女孩儿们会拿安全感来做挡箭牌。当然,相对的只要你抚心自问,那也不是在给你自己一个从新选择的机会吗?如果,你觉得值得去放手一搏的话,那就开始你的寻宝游戏吧!希望,你可以从以上的七点中,寻获通往她心中的那把钥匙吧!如果,你选择放弃,那就另择木而栖吧。

但是,诚如我所说,这是一个选择题。千万不要因为对方最终还是选择了别人而大叹不公平。做人应该有勇气去承担自己所作的决定。人们往往会忘了自己才是自己的主人。自己必须对自己的生命负责,而不是别人。

Monday, October 22, 2007

Does pregnant complete a woman?

I was quite surprise got to know that a friend of mine really have such a thinking that only by way of pregnant a woman then only a woman is complete. Perhaps that is her perception just for herself. Somehow, I really do not think this is a healthy thinking. I cannot imagine if later on when she happen to face pregnancy problem how will she react. I am pretty worried that she might not able to take it.

It is rather sad on her statement as many might aware, there are lots of people out there who wish to get pregnant but to no avail. Does that means that they are not a complete woman just because of they can never get pregnant? If every woman is having the same perception, I wonder how could woman ever live on their lives happily knowing the fact they could never fulfill they duty being a woman. That kind of statement will kills lots of woman out there, be it physically nor mentally.

I do not see pregnancy is a duty of a woman. In these modern days, no one should have such perception. In my opinion, it is rather a choice than a duty. No one has the obligation to give birth to a baby nor they should fulfill their duty by giving birth to a baby without having the enough cautious of their responsibility towards their kids. There are a way lot more abandon kids out there and I am not sure the reason to get pregnant just to make a complete woman could still sustain. To get pregnant and giving birth to a child is not merely to be a complete woman, it does effect a lot of things.

It is a lifetime commitment compare to the rest of the things, even marriage is no longer a lifetime commitment as the divorce rate is rising rapidly. I can see moms still worried about their kids even after they have got married and having their own kids.

So do think twice before getting pregnant and once you have made the choice live with it and try your very best to stay happily ever after. Of course never abandon your kids because it is your choice and not theirs. Just do not blame them for their present have caused lots of problem for you as they do not have a choice but you did. Never execute your pleasure at their expense. Be a more responsible person, and it helps to reduce the poor kids out there.